Attributes of the Coachable

How to increase the likelihood a client will get the most out of coaching.

Background

I’ve been a coach in one form or another for roughly 10 years now. I started coaching middle and high school wrestling and coach online fitness today. What I’ve discovered over the years is that a coach’s number one asset to coaching well is communication. An individual can be the best at what they do and not have the communication skills required to both convey ideas and inspire others. The topics of leadership, coaching, and teaching are ongoing discussions with varying approaches and ideas. However, the coach is only half the story.

Introduction

The other half of the story falls with person being coached. How good the client is at being coached determines how much they will get out of the coach-client relationship. The greatest coach in the world can only do so much in the face of clients who are not ready to be coached.

Before getting into the characteristics of coachable individuals, we flesh out the characteristics of a good coach, providing crucial context to coachablility.

On Good Coaching

A healthy relationships between a coach and his/her clients requires a balance of approachability and one’s ability to display and perform one’s authority to their client. This may mean effectively displaying ones expertise on a subject-matter or simply having a commanding presence, but hopefully its a bit of both. Balancing the hand of friendship with ones authority is a skill that good coaches hopefully, have mastered over many years. Having a client who feels safe expressing feedback is vital to a positive coaching experience. If a coach leans too heavily on their authoritative nature, it can result in the client being too timid to give critical feedback, causing a breakdown in communication. At a very basic level, this is where the base-line responsibility of the coaches end and where the client’s responsibilities, both in terms of themselves and to their coach begin.

On Being Coachable

As a coach, you get to know pretty quickly who is ready and capable of making significant, positive changes in his or her life. It makes the coaches job not only a lot easier, but a joy to take part in when this is the case. So what sets these individuals apart from those who aren’t quite ready?

A client who is ready has already gone through the process of accepting the need for change in their life. They’ve humbled themselves to the prospect that they need another person to help them achieve their goals. In a lot of cases these people probably don’t need as much of a coach as they need an audience, and that’s okay too because a good audience also provides vital feedback to positive changes in one’s life.

Coachable individuals are not often talked about as much as the coaches or teachers are. An individual can be formally trained as a coach or teacher but there are no courses on how to be more coachable. Below we flesh out the attributes of coachable individuals.

Coachable individuals share these traits:

1. They are receptive to direction.
   Being receptive to direction with an enthusiastic and open mind can set the working relationship up for long-term success, as both parties are able to display in so far as listening is required.

   
   If the client’s first instinct is to question the coach when given direction, there is a high probability that the working relationship will not bear fruit. This is not to say that the client should blindly accept direction from their coach. It is to say however, that more often than not, giving the coach the benefit of the doubt is the right move.
   
   ”Why? It seem’s like nonsense? Why run 30 miles in the mud on my first day? “
   
   The reason is not whether the instructions are good (especially initially), but that maintaining an open and positive attitude will increase the likelihood that client and coach can like and respect each other enough to communicate across the entirety of the working relationship.
   
   If however, the coaches instructions remain bizarre and unreasonable after a month or so and the communication is poor, then it may be time to find a new coach.

2. Regularly express and reciprocate enthusiasm.
   Enthusiasm is contagious. An enthusiastic client matched with a coach who is good at their job is always a good sign. The kinds of enthusiasm I’ve encountered over the years shows itself as a desire for more. More workouts, more info on nutrition, more data on cardio, more challenges to meet! Typically, as a coach, we need to tell our enthusiastic Padawans to be patient and embrace rest despite their restless desire for more.
   
   Enthusiasm also is a sign that things are working and serves as a form of communication between coach and client. As a client, you may want to remind yourself to express enthusiasm and not always wait for major milestone to do so. Positive self-talk is very closely related to success across all endeavors. Highly coachable individuals do this regularly and clever coaches find ways foster the environment for that to happen.

3. Go above and beyond.
   As long as the client is not throwing away to coaches playbook entirely in place of something different, going a bit further than is expected is not a bad thing. To any coach worthy of the title, it’s a good way of communicating to the coach that the client is ready for a little more.
   
   Going above and beyond isn’t always about running that extra mile. With fitness coaching as an example, it could mean that the client recorded his or herself performing a lift, without being asked by the coach, and asking the coach for a form check. The client in this case is not only communicating that they want to improve but that they value the coaches expertise on the matter.

Un-Coachable Individuals

Unfortunately, not everyone is ready or capable of bearing the fruits of mentorship from a coach. On paper these individuals may think they are ready to change their lives but in reality, they are simply just looking for symbolic change. And frankly, that’s not a bad thing in-and-of itself. It may be the precursor to truly being ready to change. But in my experience, these individuals show signs early on that they are not ready.

Some signs a client is less coachable:

1. Questioning the coaches early and often.
   Nothing says you don’t respect a person like questioning their logic or expertise early and often, let alone a coach. Without a baseline level of respect, no meaningful relationship can form. Does this mean that a client should blindly accept what their coach tells them in the face of absurd advice, of course not. But a base-line level of respect needs to come first if the relationship is to be given a chance.

2. General anti-social behavior.
   We cant all have the same sense of humor, points of reference, or common morality (unfortunately). A talented coach will do what it takes to bridge whatever gaps there are, however, over time, if the coach doesn’t find a way to manage this, it can often lead to a breakdown in communication. People who tend to be a bit more anti-social often miss or mis-read social cues. A good way to manage this is to regularly send an email or private message, letting the coach know he or she is appreciated by employing the coachable behaviors we’ve already discussed.

3. A big ego.
   Unfortunately a big ego is incompatible with coaching. If the client thinks they know better and can do a better job than the coach why even get a coach in the first place. It’s rare, but not as rare as you’d think. Clients like this may have unrealistic expectations of a coach and are impatient with their goals. Using the example of fitness training, it is also true that these clients often think they’re doing more than they are, whether that be in the gym or their diet, taking their frustration out on the coach instead of reflecting on themselves. As the client, being able to employ enough self awareness could go a long way in avoiding this outcome but frankly, these individuals do not need coaching - they need a fundamental change in behavior. This is not the job of, let’s say, a fitness coach to foster.

Conclusion

As I’ve mentioned in the above, a good coach will do a good job of bridging the gaps of awkwardness that are bound to arrive and establish healthy communication and goal-setting. This however, is only half the story of the client-coach relationship. Clients who are receptive to direction, expressive in their enthusiasm, and who go above and beyond are far more likely to find success with coaching. Individuals who struggle interpersonally may have some bridges to gap, but nothing that self awareness and extra communication cant resolve. Clients with a big ego, are not cut out for coaching almost by definition. Open lines of communication and respect are the foundations of any coach-client relationship of which everything else can grow and the clients success can be found.